Like Toy Soldiers
by mYpAiNtEdOnFaCe
Summary: Songfic to Like Toy Soldiers by EMINEM. It's in Harry's POV and he is describing the war.


Song-fic to Like Toy Soldiers by: EMINEM.

Warnings: character death (not specific) and some language.

Song Lyrics- _italic_

Harry's POV

It always seemed like it was one step forward, then two steps back. Then everything and everyone fell down. They were like toy soldiers who went into battle, were torn to pieces, and never won. Even so, they kept on fighting forever if necessary.

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down..._

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_

I'm supposed to always be composed despite the fact that I have the weight of the whole world on my soldiers. I'm never allowed to show the people around me, the ones who work with me what I feel. Even if I have to go face to face with Voldermort, no one is allowed to know how I feel, if I'm afraid or not.

_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure  
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders  
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it  
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter  
_

I'm never going to bring others into a battle I can take care of on my own. I have to set an example for those around me, for those I fight with. If something ever happens, I have to be there to make things right. Even if it involves the people I work with and an argument they have with each other.

_I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to  
I'm supposed to set an example  
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em  
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em  
_

Others had tried to stop the war before but it was too late. There's a line there that cannot be crossed or else there will be drastic consequences. I remember hearing Him say my parents name and I lost control completely. I went insane and everyone around me knew it. This war is crazy and it needs to stop soon.

_Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"  
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it  
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it  
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit  
_

Even when we win the battles, I always feel like we lost them. There's too much loss, too much destruction after each battle that I have to deal with. I always spend too much energy on the battles and am exhausted when they are over. I get so caught up in everything that I almost feel as though the war is my fault.

_And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it  
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted  
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it  
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it_

I never meant for someone to die. Why, by Merlin's beard, would I want to destroy something I helped build. I helped the Wizarding World build this army, I want it to succeed. I don't want any of this destruction to happen. I _do_ have good intentions, I want us to win.

_  
That was never my object for someone to get killed  
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build  
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good  
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge_

****The only reason I didn't talk about it or try to help was because I respected Draco. I knew that he had to face his father on his own. Also, Draco told me not to interfere, that this was something he had to resolve on his own. So I let him. I just stood back and did nothing.

_  
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth  
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about  
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef  
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth_

The whole time Draco's father, Lucius Malfoy, had been insulting his son and talking shit about Draco in order to try to gain some credibility. It didn't work. I understand that this is how the Malfoy family worked but that didn't mean I had to like it. Especially when the entire situation could easily get out of control with them.

_  
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life   
Like fuck it i understand this is business  
And this shit just isn't none of my business_

_But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz_

Then everything seemed to repeat itself again and again and again. They were always like the toy soldiers he had played with as a child. They did as they were told, some got killed, some survived, and they did it again. When would it every end?

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers  
_

I remembered when you could just say a spell and didn't have to worry about anybody dying because of it. That was back when everything was better, peaceful. However that didn't last. Once the adults were getting exhausted and wiped out someone had the _genius_ idea that the Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh year students could be trained and those that excelled could fight in the war. It only made things worse, after all, they are only children. But then again, so am I.

_There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme  
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'  
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it  
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?_

Everything changes when that happens. Everything gets worse and worse because each side is getting desperate and is trying to outdo the other so they resort to more and more extremes. I even tried to stop the fight Ron and Draco had had. Ron and I had grown apart and Draco and I closer. So I sat down with Ron and asked him not to start anything, Draco and I weren't going to do anything.

_  
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'  
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'  
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him  
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him  
_

That was until he started screaming that we, that I, betrayed him. Fuck it Draco let him have it. Meanwhile my attention is getting pulled everywhere at once and I have to deal with it all. Even some receptionist at the Daily Prophet who has become obsessed with me.

_Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him  
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it  
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions  
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk  
_

He lust after me and thinks that I can help him get fame and that I can be the one who getshis glory for him. He tries to brush up on battle tactics and become some famous warrior but he screwed up. He got himself killed and now he has no chance to do anything like that again.

_Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his resurrection  
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record  
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up  
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous_

Now the owner is pissed off at me when I didn't do anything. The man would have been called into battle sooner or later. You may think that callous of me but when all you see is battle and death every since you were one I think its allowed. Now whenever I'm in battle I get so furious that I don't even think. I don't even care that I've now inherited Draco's fights with Ron.

_  
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'  
Well fuck it, that motherfucker can get it too, fuck him then  
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think  
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc._

It's not like it wasn't fair trade because now he fights with Snape for me because I can rarely bring myself to care enough around the man because I'm used to it. But it don't matter. We still have friends that will defend us. Hermoine has stuck by my side and Blaise has stuck by Draco's. Of course that could have something to do with the fact that they got together. And even though I don't want it to come to that we both have friends who are willing to die for us because they realize how important we are to the war.

_  
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind  
We still have soldiers that's on the front line  
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders  
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us_

They only hope that they will be remembered and that one of us will either be at there funeral or mention them somewhere to show how important their sacrifice was. The loyalty of my friends is more important than anything else so I can't really expect anything else.

_  
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus  
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is  
To have Runyan Avenue, soldiers up in our corners  
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is_

Either way I am not trying to have any of my friends, any of the people in this war hurt or murdered it ain't worth it. I can't think of a better way to word it. I care about everyone too much to care only about the outcome of this war. If I had a choice I would walk away from the whole thing before it got any worse but its out of my hands now and I can't do anything about it.

_  
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered  
It ain't worth it, I can't think of a perfecter way to word it  
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict  
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further_

But don't get confused, I'm not saying that my side is not valid but I just want this war to end. I am just willing to be the bigger man and to admit that this entire thing has gotten out of hand and that it needs to stop. If everyone would just stop fighting long enough I would try to comprise, to try to end this because I'm tired of fighting.

_  
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'  
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man  
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'  
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'  
_

I'm not gonna let someone else's coffin rest on my conscience.

_I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz  
_

We're toy soldiers and we will continue fighting until the battle is either won or until we are all eliminated. I have a funny feeling that there are going to be too many causalities before it ends. Any was too many, but the entire Wizarding World will be devastated. I don't think that there will be anyone left that has not lost someone to the war, if not their entire family. The deaths are already too many to name but it will only get worse before it gets better. I can only hope that I am around to see it.

_  
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers_


End file.
